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In my latest blog post, I talked mostly about the disadvantages of doing porn. And yes, they are real — stigma, judgment, misrepresentation, and more. But when I started in 2011, I already knew all of them.
So why do I do it anyway?
As a woman, I’m legally allowed to do anything a man does. But the moment I claim that freedom, especially with my body or sexuality, I risk being criticized, bullied, or ostracized. Doing porn is my way of affirming my freedom to live as I please. It’s an act of autonomy and defiance in a world still soaked in double standards.
Porn allows me to explore fantasies — both mine and others’ — that I could never experience in real life. Last year, I got “raped” by a tree in a film and won an AVN award for it. That was never a personal fantasy, but when the director offered it, I thought: Why not? It turned out to be one of the most creatively exciting shoots I’ve done. Through porn, I get to expand my senses, play with imagination, and discover new parts of myself and others.
I love creating content. For me, porn is not just about sexual satisfaction — it’s performance, expression, and transformation. I learned how to walk, talk, act, do my makeup, and costume myself. Living in a fantasy is a full sensory art form, and I love the creative freedom it gives me.
Porn gives me a way to explore intense fantasies in a safe, controlled environment. On set, I don’t risk untreatable STDs or dealing with someone stalking me afterward. My safety is literally in the producer’s best interest — because I’m not just a person on set, I’m their investment. That creates boundaries and protocols that dating or private sex doesn’t offer.
Not everyone could handle the judgment or social isolation that sometimes comes with doing porn. But I know myself. I have the kind of personality that can fight stigma without falling apart. This battle isn’t easy, but with strong ideas and heart, I can keep going. I was made for this.
There’s no logical reason not to do porn — for the people it suits. It’s not for everyone, of course, just like being a doctor or fashion designer isn’t for everyone. But stigma? That’s not a good enough reason to avoid something. It would be like quitting school because a bully won’t stop picking on you. You don’t let the bully win.
Sex isn’t just a physical interest for me — it’s intellectual. I’ve always been fascinated by it. And yet, in universities and “serious” discourse, sex remains taboo. Ironically, we study animal sexuality more openly than our own. No book could teach me what I’ve learned from being a porn performer. It’s a form of embodied knowledge, and it matters.
Porn lets me rethink society’s values — and choose my own. Since I’ve already been labeled a “whore” by society, I have nothing to lose and total freedom of speech. I don’t have to tiptoe around brands or employers. Many of my colleagues are like that too — clear as water, spontaneous, real. Maybe not perfect, but rarely fake.